Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Updated your reader yet?

Just a friendly reminder for those of you behind the 8-ball that I've moved!

Be sure to change your readers and bookmarks if you want to keep up on my debauchery and shenanigans!*


* Seriously, people.**

** There are four different links to the same page on this post. ***

*** No more excuses.

Monday, March 1, 2010

My Final Post

No, no, no! Not my final post EVER. That's just silly!

I meant my final post here at shamrock-on.blogspot.com

I have decided to move my little corner of the internet to jeneypeney.wordpress.com

So you know the drill... if you treasure your life wish to continue reading my rubbish, go update your reader, bookmarks, etc. Like, now.

Please and thank you!

I wish you all quiet Mondays with copious amounts of coffee and Pandora bliss.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Me Loving Harder, Part One

When I was a freshmen in college, all of us little lasses were forced into these awkward orientation groups in which we attended to a bunch of pointless lectures to teach us all about what the administrators thought being in college was all about. It was in this group that I met a spunky, outspoken girl who introduced herself as Biz.

Biz is definitely a unique spirit. The fact that “Biz” was her short for “Elizabeth” rather than “Beth” or “Lizzy” was proof enough. The fact that she wasn't afraid to let her decidedly liberal views be heard in a massive sea of conservative classmates only solidified it. She quickly became my hero.

She has an incredibly infectious smile that honestly spreads to her eyes and lights up her whole face - and everyone's around her. She is the kind of girl that will drop everything to bring you Italian chocolates and boxed wine to cheer you up.

She has a wonderful sense of humor that she applies to everything she does (every single one of her Facebook photo album titles is a Super Trooper quote). She is an amazing artist and to this day I still have several of the pottery pieces she gave me around my apartment.

She is the most outgoing, bull-headed, and strongest women I have ever met. She never failed to be the life of a party and always had a story by the end of the night. She is an absolutely beautiful person; almost painfully so on the outside, too.

She is that kind of girl that you really, REALLY want to be friends with but you’re afraid she’s just too cool for you.

I am honored and blessed to say Biz is my friend. One of my best friends, actually.

You see, she was my person. I could go to her for anything… and sa-weet Jesus do I mean anything. She was the one and only person I could go to for everything from “What the hell kind of shoes goes with this top?” to “My Grandma was just diagnosed with cancer…” to “You will not BELIEVE who I went home with last night!”

She always listened and she never judged me.

Back in June, right before I moved to Fargo, Biz was driving through a wicked thunderstorm to work a basketball camp at Notre Dame. She hydroplaned, ran into a semi, and landed in a ditch. She survived the crash with no broken bones or any massive blood loss; but she suffered severe brain damage from the accident.

Her BPI was so high at one point we thought we were going to lose her. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I couldn’t lose my person. I never got to tell her how much she mattered to me; how much I loved and valued our friendship.

By the grace of whatever God there is, Biz did survive. She is still learning to walk and talk again, and she struggles with her short term memory. Biz and her family lost her father this past Christmas to a long-fought battle with brain cancer, and she still asks, "Where's dad?" several times a day.

Despite all of this, she is fighting harder and stronger than I could have ever imagined. Through this tragedy she has not only showed all of us how to live – but how to survive.

Biz is one of my inspirations to love harder.

What’s yours?

Thursday, February 25, 2010

TMI Thursday: One Girl, One Cup (Not like you would think...)

Mom... I am so very, very proud of the fact that you have somehow swindled my brother into showing you several of my blog posts. Your cunning and deceit astound me. But this is NOT something you would necessarily want to read about your only daughter. You have been warned.


Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

TMI Thursday

When I was a sophomore in college, I went to a huge dorm party on the co-ed campus across the street called The Zoo. This party ended with two of my friends leaving without us to go to Steak N' Shake while another was ticketed for being a minor in possession.

But that's besides the point.

Anypoorlifedecisions, after arriving at the party in all of our awkward, under dressed glory and many rousing games of Fuck the Dealer and Kings later, I was decidedly good and schmackered.

Said schmackered-ness had my brain thinking that Creepy McLoser across the room was worthy enough of my attentions.

Said attentions lead us to his room where he proceeded to have a 'little problem'.

I would have simply left after the 'little problem' surfaced (or didn't surface... whatever), but one friend was possibly in the slammer, the others were gorging themselves on greasy, delicious amazingness. It was also after 2:00am and thus, I was technically not allowed to be there.

So I just went to bed with every intention of waking up at at the ass crack of dawn and making my walk of shame back across the street to my college.

Then it happened...

I had to pee.

Now, many possibilities went through my (still very drunk) mind at this point.

I could have peed in the sink - but I'm really short, a girl, and was afraid that sitting on it would break it off the wall.

I could have snuck downstairs to the women's bathroom - but if I was lucky enough to even make it that far without being caught by the rector I might as well just leave.

I could have creeped to the men's bathroom down the hall - but I was at equal risk of getting caught.

So what brilliant idea did I decide was the best course of action? Peeing in the solo cup I brought into the room and then pouring it down the sink. Perfect! Fool proof!

Wrong and wrong.

I grabbed the cup, set it on the floor (Why on the floor? I have no earthly idea. I was drunk.), dropped my pants, and began to relieve myself.

(Honest to God I am having serious issues typing this without laughing right now...)

Once I was finished, I began to stand up when my jeans hit the lip of the cup and KNOCKED IT OVER.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. I had just spilled my urine all over this guy's floor.

Let that soak in for second.

(Pun totally intended.)

So I did the only thing I could think of: I made like a Shepard and got the flock out of there.

(Thank the good Lord above that this guy was a senior and I never saw him again...)

* I did break parietals once more after my senior formal, but it was in my best friend's dorm room and I was graduating in two weeks and I didn't care anymore.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Would You Rather Wednesday

Does anyone else say "Wedd - nez - day" in their head when they type Wednesday?

No? Just me? Figures.

Anysnow -

Would you rather spend the rest of your life where it is excruciatingly bitter cold during the winter months (as in always below zero before wind chill), but less than six inches of snow actually falls?

Or would you rather spend the rest of your life where the temperatures are relatively mild, but you are guaranteed several feet of snow every year?

Things to consider: Digging your car out of the snow or digging yourself out of your house... your nose hairs freezing whenever you walk outside... frostbite risks... high electric or gas bills for heating.

In other news, I finally posted a little something over at Nothing Rhymes with Orange.

Happy Hump Day!


UPDATE : This is not a test. This is a message from the Emergency Free Shit Giveaway System. There has been a Free Shit Giveaway notice for anyone who has the mental capacity to type. For more information, please see DCPrincessQ at PQ Nation.

Again, this is NOT a test. This is a message from the Emergency Free Shit Giveaway System. She is giving away a $50 gift card to LuLu's, people!