My 100th Post

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Fish Bowl’s 100th post. Albeit, not quite as mind blowing or monumental as PB & Tuna or MJenks’ 100th Follower… but still more exciting than Sarah Palin joining Fox News or Mark McGuire admitting to steroid use.

Yay! Go me!

Considering I am completely narcissistic unoriginal and unimaginative, I am commemorating this post with 100 wholly pointless things about me.

If you thought you knew Jeney before, you are in for it.

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1) My name has never been, is not, nor will it ever be Jennifer.

2) My favorite color is pink despite my personality and my hatred of it as a child.

3) My brother threw a flag stone at my head once when I was six knocking me out for fifteen minutes. I retaliated by crushing his hand with one a week later.

4) I have a birthmark on the bottom of my left foot. My dad has the same one.

5) My mom originally wanted to name me Nadina – Dina for short. (Dina the Dinosaur jokes, anyone?)

6) I cannot stand it when people chew with their mouths open. The smacking noise drives me bonkers.

7) I have had a sick obsession with vampires ever since I saw The Lost Boys as a kid. Twilight fans have nothing on me!

8) My only true fears in life are weed whackers, chain saws, and clowns.

9) I have been told that I have excellent taste in music when I am sober and awful taste in music when I am drunk.

10) I was technically a preemie- I was born four weeks early, but I was perfectly healthy and at a normal weight.

11) My parents were married in May of 1985, I was born in October on 1985. I was technically at the wedding.

12) I run to really loud, angry music - like Mudvayne and Five Finger Death Punch. However, I lift and elipticise (is that even a word?) to stuff like Lady Gaga and old school N’Sync.

13) I crochet and I love it.

14) I was born blonde and strived to stay that way until my senior year of college. I’ve discovered being brunette is way better.

15) I am the only person in my immediate family whose name does not start with an “L”.

16) This happens to be my favorite number.

17) I am closer to my 18 year old brother than I am with anyone else in this world.

18) I have had to do the math to remember how old I am turning every birthday since turning 21. I’m in denial already.

19) I have always wanted to have twin boys and name them Kristian Dakota and Kristopher Zachary. So they would be Kris and Kris (and hate me for it) but we would call them Dak and Zac.

20) Pickle Chiffon Pie is by far my favorite book EVER.

21) I have to admit that Peyton Manning commercials are my guilty pleasure.

22) So is really awful 90s pop music.

23) I once watched “My Super Sweet 16” for five hours straight. To this day I still have no idea why.

24) I used to get in my mom’s shopping cart and pull things off the shelves just to annoy her – when I was in high school.

25) My first word was “Floyd”… as in “Pink Floyd”.

26) My father once beat a guy to within an inch of his life for molesting me when I was 13 years old. I secretly wish he would have succeeded.

27) The only major surgery I have ever had was for a hernia.

28) You really shouldn’t take life too seriously because you’re not getting out of it alive.

29) The most profound thing any of my undergrad professors ever said to me was, “You are not an adult until you buy your own toilet paper.”

30) If you made it this far down my list, add the word ‘duck’ to your comment.

31) I am not a super religious person, but I do believe in God and I do believe He does everything for a reason.

32) I used to think my mom was Rosanne when I was a kid.

33) I love Christmas music, but I refuse to listen to it until Thanksgiving Day.

34) All of my iPod playlists have ridiculous names like “Sorry for Partying” and “I <3 href="http://www.celebritywonder.com/picture/Giada_De_Laurentiis/GiadaDeLaure_A__Wyman_14319525.jpg">Giada de Laurentis on the Food Network without staring at her boobs.

43) The most attentive, loving, and caring man I have ever met in my life is currently two years old.

44) The first thing I do when I come home from work, errands, a friends place, etc. is take my pants off.

45) I used to write a lot of poetry when I was in high school. I still have my book I used to write them in. You can find some of it here.

46) I have the WORST road rage ever.

47) I have an organizational OCD. Everything I own is in some sort of order (alphabetical, height, color, etc.)

48) The two coolest scars on my body are on my crotch (hernia surgery) and my calf (motorcycle incident).

49) I also have a small scar on my lower lip. I have no idea how it got there. Neither do my parents.

50) I never wore shoes when I was a kid. Now, I *love* them.

51) I’m awful at flirting. I also get incredibly awkward when boys give me compliments.

52) I still get Happy Meals at McDonald’s. (Sometimes I even go for the Mighty Kids’ Meals.)

53) My type is “the suit”. My secret type is “the bad boy”.

54) I don’t care what you say; Batman is the best comic superhero EVER!

55) My navel has been pierced since I was 16. I have wanted to take it out since I was 19… I just can’t find it in myself to do it.

56) My grandfather is, and always will be, my hero.

57) The best roommates a girl could ask for are two overgrown, seventeen year old boys stuck in 20 something year old bodies.

58) Ever since I was in high school, I have wanted to join the armed forces (preferably the Navy). My mom put the kibosh on it when I graduated HS and circumstances kept me away from it when I graduated college. I still think about it every day.

59) I don’t think I could ever go back to Vegas because of the first time I ever went there.

60) If you got this far down my list, add another ‘duck’ to your comment.

61) Currently, I have not had an orgasm caused by another person in five years. (TMI?) I don’t know if it’s a mental thing or a ‘Jeney-really-knows-how-to-pick-em’ problem.

62) I have serious issues with pubic hair. I mean like ‘vomit-in-my-mouth’ kind of problems.

63) I am a fiercely loyal friend. However, you have to earn it.

64) I actually have awful self-esteem issues. I hide it behind my sarcasm.

65) This may not seem true, but camping and sleeping in the wilderness is the best night’s sleep you will ever get.

66) I always kind of with I would have gone to culinary school.

67) I prefer beer over any type of liquor; but I have always wanted to be a wine connoisseur.

68) Strawberry/peach is the best fruit combination for anything.

69) Brinner is the greatest meal ever, hands down.

70) Deep down, I want to be a great blogger like LiLu or Ben; but I don’t have the time or talent to do so. I have become perfectly content being the little blogger I am. :-)

71) Miley Cyrus makes me want to shove forks in my ears.

72) I have never traveled outside of the states; not even to Canada or Mexico.

73) I purge my Facebook friends of people I no longer deem worthy of my time on a quarterly basis.

74) I want to get wasted with the guy who dubbed this video.

75) I was college roommates with a pretty well-known and loved 20 Something Blogger. We haven’t spoken since graduation day. I kind of miss ‘em.

76) My dream job would be the General Manager of the Chicago Bears. I’ll settle for being an Athletic Director somewhere.

77) I was flamed so badly the first week I joined 20SB on my profile that I am still afraid to get involved in the group.

78) Coming home from vacation to a clean house is the most relaxing feeling in the world.

79) I absolutely love Lady Gaga and I have no idea if I should be ashamed of it or not.

80) When I was in the 7th grade, I heard some boys on the playground talk about how gross it was for a girl to have hair “down there”. I agreed with them so I started shaving that night.

81) I feel that am not done learning and I want to go back to school.

82) The two most amazing things about Fargo so far are 50 Cent Draft Wednesdays at Bucks and Two for One You Call Its at Big D’s.

83) I wish I would have listened to my parents when they told me not to grow up so fast.

84) As much as I bitched about it while I lived there, I really miss Indiana sometimes.

85) I’m beginning to think my new Blackberry is my new best friend.

86) I still make wishes on my eyelashes.

87) I used to have a very extensive collection of gel pens when I was in junior high. I and I mean extensive… neon, glitter, metallic. You name it and I had it.

88) On that same note, I am still obsessed with highlighters and sharpies.

89) Sometimes when I am in a children’s section (clothes, books, whatever) I get this overwhelming feeling of wanting to get married and have kids like NOW. Then I come back to my senses.

90) If you made it this far down my list add the word ‘goose’ to your comment.

91) I have always kind of wanted to be a writer, but I never felt I was good enough to make it a career.

92) The greatest gift I ever got was one half of a 14 carat gold “Best Friend” heart from my mother when I was in high school.

93) I have a very vivid memory of watching an animated movie as a kid where rats were being killed and there was blood everywhere. To this day, no one has a clue what movie I am talking about and that I imagined the whole thing.

94) I have both a dream catcher and a rosary hanging above my bed.

95) It really bugs me when I don’t recognize a person on Facebook because they got married and changed their name.

96) I have owned this poster since I was a freshman in college and I still think it is one of the most impressive band posters I have ever seen.

97) My first concert I ever went to was the Smashing Pumpkins Infinite Sadness Tour in Chicago for my 11th birthday.

98) I gave a professional quarterback a lap dance once… and I don’t remember doing it.

99) When I was in high school, I ate three Bosco Sticks dipped in cheese sauce and marinara, a bag of Doritos, a chocolate shake, and three chocolate chip cookies for lunch EVERY DAY and still only weighed 110 lbs. I want that metabolism back.

100) I felt like this fact should have been earth shattering, but it is really hard to think up 100 facts about yourself.

Thanks for stickin' around! Let the judging commence...

Tattoos-Day : A New Chapter

Ink #11: Good Fortune

Design: Dragon Fly

Location: Right Inside Ankle

When: Summer 2009

Pain Scale: Eight out of ten

Artist: Joey Drada

Story:

Sad day… this is the last Tattoos-day :-( However! If you, or anyone you know, is interested in featuring their own ink for a Tattoos-day, shoot me an e-mail at jeney dot anderson at gmail dot com.

I got this one right before I left for Fargo. I wanted to say goodbye to Joey and Mr. Max – and I wanted to get something to represent the newest chapter in my life. Moving to Fargo was one of the biggest transformations of my life. I moved away from family, friends, and everything I knew. As much as it scared the piss out of me, I knew it would be for the best.

There’s a story about Dragonflies that goes something like this:

In a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads, there lived a little water beetle in a community of water beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond with few disturbances and interruptions.

Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their friend was dead, gone forever. Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what he had found at the top.

When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful blue tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body designed for flying. So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never known existed. Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended. But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he understood that their time would come, when they, too, would know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off into his joyous new life!

Moving to Fargo was my lily pad. And although I may not be able to go back to my old life, I know it is all for the better.

Fin.

TMI Thursday - Of Moving Boxes and Porn

It’s time for TMI Thursday, brought to you by LiLu. As she always says, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

When I took my new job and decided to venture into the great white north of America, the only thing I was really nervous about was the whole moving process. At that point, the most earth shattering move I had made was into my college dorm room (Which in actuality is a mini-move. You don't bring nearly as much shit with you and the furniture was already there.)

Before I knew it, I was lying face down on my bed sobbing my face off because I didn't have a hitch on my car to tow a trailer nor could I afford both a moving truck and trailer to tow my car and I had accumulated an inordinate amount of CRAP in the previous five years. Oh! And my family wasn't going to come help me make the biggest move of my life.

Cue saint-like (or so I thought) roommate and his girlfriend who offered to tow a trailer from Indiana to North Dakota to help me move.

The move itself was really nothing to write home about... we Redneck MacGyvered a tarp to the bed of the truck in an attempt to keep my bed set dry, but that was the only exciting part.

Would have been better if we were at a Wal Mart.

It was when the unpacking process began that I realized there were consequences to asking your overgrown, seventeen year old roommates to help you move.

I was sitting in my new living room while the roommate's girlfriend unpacked kitchen stuff when I started to unpack my drawers and boxes. Once I picked up a drawer to get to the one below it I was greeted with a wonderful, close-up, vidid photograph of Blondie McSugartits seductively placing objects of an adult nature into her no-no area.

I realized that my roommates ripped out pages of a porn mag and stuck them in EVERYTHING I OWNED!

Not that I would normally have a problem with this. Porn is great. My problem lied in all my new neighbors watching me as I carried open drawers and boxes with more images of McSugartits and all her friends doing naughty things to their lady parts. They also watched me chase said pages around the parking lot as the wind carried them away.

I made an awesome first impression.

I'm Just Sayin' - What Recession?

Well, apparently I have been living under a rock for the past three or four years. ::insert dumb cheerleader-esque giggle here::

Did you know the US economy is falling apart faster than a Kia and we’re actually in a recession?! No way! I sure didn't!

I was actually completely clueless to the fact that less than 15% of 2009 college graduates did so with a job offer (compared to about 25% for the class of 2008 and 50% for the class of 2007*).

Seriously? Holy shit! Where the hell have I been??

I thought a jobs were handed out like candy? I figured everyone who graduates with a Bachelors is automatically handed one. I never knew you had to find them on your own! Whoda thunk?!

Oh boy! I guess I need to go read “Real Life for Dummies”. Aaaand so does this girl.

Ok, Seriously. I’m not that naïve. And if you believed anything I wrote above the line before this one you really should stop reading my blog. You're embarrassing me.

I know the economy sucks and I know I am damn lucky to have a job right now. However! ::ahem:: I fought, sweat, cried, screamed, crawled, and bled for everything I have achieved to this day. I was never handed anything on a silver platter.

I graduated with a 3.2 GPA from a prestigious college I busted my ass to get into. I landed a job straight out of college because I worked damn hard as an intern for them. I bought my own car and am paying for it with my own money. If anything I had to beat someone with a rusty fork to even look at the damn silver platter.

Just because you’ve got a degree and what arguably is a brain does not mean you are entitled to a cushy job. Work at Payless for a couple months if you have to. Or for the love of all that is holy, go sign up for an account on Monster.com.

She’s been looking for a job for 3 months? Big whoop. That kind of dedication reflects her 2.7 GPA**. I have friends who have been looking for jobs since the graduated LAST YEAR. I wonder how much they could sue our college for 15 months of stress?

My grandparents’ and parents’ generations say mine is lazy and we refuse to work for anything. You know what? I agree. We are not going to be handed big positions and rock star jobs just for graduating college.

Get up off your good for nothing, lazy, college educated, 20-something ass and find a god damn job on your own.

I’m just sayin’.

* I got these numbers from the 2009 Commencement Speaker for Saint Mary’s College of Notre Dame. You don’t like them? Well, screw you. Take it up with her.
** I’m not trying to knock people with 2.7 GPAs – just this girl.

Just a lost soul... seriously.

As I mentioned before, I recently started a new job.

In Fargo, North Dakota. (I know... absurd. Just go with me here.)

So after a 12 hour drive, brats and beer in Madison, Edward (new GPS) making me look like a retarded driver, and a sore ass bone later -- I moved into my new one bedroom apartment.

In Fargo, North Dakota. (Shut up.)

Grant it, I did move out of my parent's house when I was 18 and left for college. I was also technically "on my own" for a year before I moved in my my old roommates. However, there was always a friend I could bum a ride with to save gas or a family friend to invite a starving single 20-something over for dinner. Just SOMEBODY. Now, I'm all alone.

In Fargo, North Dakota. (Damnit all.)

Upon starting my new job, I discovered that I will not be receiving my first paycheck until August 15th. This leaves me with $85.47 to live off of for the next three weeks.

My TV set is sitting on a storage bin and I am using folding chairs as "couches". I also have nothing but jelly, hot dogs, and milk in my fridge. My cabinets? Coffee and peanut butter. I am officially living "on my own" for the first time in my life.

In Fargo, North Dakota. (FML.)

I't not even going to try...

...and be funny about not blogging for so long because I am so thoroughly embarrassed by it.

On the bright side, I do have some good posts lined up for when I actually have internet access outside of my work place including subjects such as:

The codswallop that is my student loans.

Taking my roommates to the Dollar Tree.

Why I cannot do laundry if my roommates are home.

Interns and the stupid shit they do to piss me off.

My tenth tattoo (and the other nine that came before).

In other news, I got a new job! I am moving to North Dakota in ten days! More on that later.
Th-th-th-that’s all (for now) folks!

Mandatory Awkward First Post

I have tried to do this blogging thing before... probably too many times to be proud of. I never fail to sort of putter out and the blog dies with all the honor and bravado of a raccoon attempting to cross the expressway. One of my New Years resolutions is to make this one different.

With that, let's get to know me, shall we?

My name is Jeney. That's not pronounced "genie" like in a bottle. It's "jenny" like 867-5309. To be honest it is supposed to be pronounced "ya-nay" like a French girl (who is really Slovak, not French at all). But you can just call me "Jen" if you want.

I grew up in a southern suburb of Chicago, IL but my family moved to Oak Creek, WI a week before I left for college my freshmen year. I never freakin' left Indiana when I graduated.

Another one of my New Years resolutions is to escape the Midwest.

I am recent proud owner of a Bachelor's Degree from Saint Mary's College of Notre Dame, IN. When I am not consumed by my post-graduate job as a sales and events manager, you can find yours truly reading something she failed to read for her High School lit classes or something that may indite her of being a nerd. I also love to cook for people and I am picking up competitive running again (another New Years resolution).

While I love what I do in my work, I know there is more out there for me. At this moment I am exploring graduate school for sports administration, another sales job in Sin City, or culinary school. (I am having a difficult time figuring out what I want to do when I grow up... about 8 months too late.)

I am not too sure what I am going to do with this blog. My plans are to document my trials in returning to my competitive running, book reviews, and other mundane things that will keep you enthralled in the subject that is Jeney like 867-5309-- but in actually more like French/Slovak Citizen.

This is already an entirely too long post. Happy reading!