Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I'm Just Sayin' - Letters to my Student Loans

Dear Notre Dame Federal Credit Union,

You are delusional. Stop laughing because I am in not way, shape, or form kidding. The fact that you do not allow extended repayment plans on your student loan programs is absolute horse manure. Let us examine this for a second.

1) It costs between $37,000 and $47,000 a year to attend the institutions you cater loans to.

2) You do not award educational scholarships, hence forcing most of the students to take a loan for this absurd amount of money each year.

3) With your mandated ten year plan, this means that graduates (and I mean the sparse few that are even lucky enough to get an entry level job) are expected to pay about $900 - $1200 a month to repay their loans back. THAT'S A GODDAMN MORTGAGE PAYMENT! ::twitch::

Not everyone who attends your school is a trust fund baby, legacy student, or bathes in cash money.

Regards,

I'm So Broke I Can't Even Afford Ramen Noodles

Dear Sallie Mae,

I don't even know what to say to you.

I want to repay my loans. I want to give you my money. Really! I do! But you're making it so damn difficult that all my money is going toward anti-anxiety meds and liquor.

First, you keep changing the amount I owe you. $152 a month? Okay. $349 a month? Manageable. $735 a month? Holy Shit-balls! Back down to $215 a month? I have a headache.

So I put loans into forbearance (aka, put you on the pill) to lower and regulate this crazy payment structure you've got me on. So I send you a payment, and you apply it to the loans that are in forbearance rather than to the loans that you are billing me for.

TELL ME HOW IN THE SAM HELL THAT MAKES SENSE?!?!

It's you're own damn fault I am delinquent on my student loans.

Sincerely,

I Am Sick and Tired of Having a Different Rep Call Me Every Time You Fuck Up

You both need to get your shit together.

I'm just sayin'.

8 comments:

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Amen. I thought that, you know, when I got a job, this stuff would be easier. Apparently not.

Granted, maybe I didn't need a brand new car the last time I bought one, but it sure was shiny.

*sigh*

I'll split a cup of Ramen with you.

Helen said...

Wow, I am so glad that my family had investments for me so that my education was paid for! Of course I'm on so many scholarships now that if I quit before I graduate (which is tempting at times) I'll be paying them back for the rest of my life...

I might just end up living on our version of ramen noodles... we don't even cook them, prefer them crunchy!

Organic Meatbag said...

Holy shit, Jeney, that sucks... and it's true, college tuition loan businesses have to be the absolute best field to work in, because you know they are getting their money by bluntly ass raping every poor college kid that can't find a job even after graduating...

Scarlet Begonias said...

I feel ya! I had to take out loans for every last penny of tutition because according to my parents my education doesn't benefit them so they shouldn't have to pay for it. And if you try to defer the laons because finding a job these days is like finding a needle in a haystack, they slap you with the interest and your credit plumits. It's such a joke!

Blondiesblondemoments said...

Jeney, I am so sorry. I don't have loans but I have bills out the ass, so I feel your pain. I hope they get their shit together and things work out for you. Hang in there.

p.s If I hit lotto I will send some money your way :)

justjp said...

Umm I would like you to draft a letter to the Feds on my behalf. I am in the same boat. Stupid private school.

spleeness said...

I hate student loans. I just looked at my freaking statement and, over the past decade, have paid $22K and yet my balance is only down a few thousand. How is that fair??

I feel for you.

spleeness said...

I hate student loans. I just looked at my freaking statement and, over the past decade, have paid $22K and yet my balance is only down a few thousand. How is that fair??

I feel for you.