Hate my Life

"I hate my job, all of my rich friends
I hate everyone to the bitter end.
Nothing turns out right There's no end in sight
I hate my life!" - Theory of a Deadman, Hate My Life

There is this little band from British Columbia called Theory of a Deadman. Besides the fact that they rock my pants off, they also happen to sing the current anthem to my life…

I apologize for the terrible quality of this video.

Let's be completely unneccessary and explain each verse and how it applies to my life, shall we? (It's not like you have anything better to do right now. I mean, come on, you're actually reading my blog.)

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"So sick of the hobos always begging for change

I don't like how I gotta work

And they just sit around and get paid"

I have nothing against homeless people – but it does make me angry to know that some people on unemployment are making more money than I do. Seriously? I work far too hard for you people to make more money than me. Especially when part of my tiny paycheck actually goes to them.

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"I hate all of the people who can't drive their cars

Bitch you better get outta the way

Before I start falling apart"

This verse has actually caused family and friends to go into fits of giggles. I am the angriest driver you will ever meet. I scream, curse, and express my frustration to stupid people on the road on a daily basis. I may get shot for it someday. My whole day is typically ruined because of idiot Hoosiers who don’t know how to turn right without coming to a complete stop. Or don’t understand the concept of a two lane road. Or those fuck-wads who drive 10 miles UNDER the posted speed limit! (Alright, I'm done.)

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"I hate how my wife is always up my ass

She always wants to buy brand new things

But I don't have the cash."

This is more so applying to me rather than a significant other. I want nice things. I don’t have the cash to buy them for myself… or a sugar daddy to buy them for me.

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"How come I never get laid? Nice guys always lose

How could she have another headache

There's always some kind of excuse"

I shouldn’t have to explain this verse.

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"I still hate my job, my boss is a dick

I don't get paid nearly enough

To put up with all of your shit"

I don’t really hate my job much or my boss. I do get frustrated and overly stressed out about it a lot. I really shouldn’t complain anyway; I should be grateful that I have a job. I just wish I made more money sometimes. But then I remember that I should be grateful that I’m actually making money. Then I remember some of it goes to unemployed people who make more money than I do. Le Sigh.

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"I hate that I can't tell when a girl's underage

You know, I tell her she's a nice piece of ass

Then her daddy punches me in the face"

Ok. So this doesn’t really apply to me at all. However – my dating life does chronically suck. I didn’t hate time to date in college and the last few guys I attempted to date since college:

1) The first one blew me off and stopped calling me for absolutely no reason after having (what I thought was) a fantastic first date.
2) The second one revealed to me he was an ex-heroine addict, may have had three illegitimate children, and never graduated high school.
3) The most recent one was the typical asshole that He’s Just Not That Into warns you to stay away from. And of course, I didn’t.

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I really know how to pick winners. Or there is something seriously wrong with me…

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"So if you're pissed like me

Bitches, here's what you gotta do

Put your middle fingers up in the air

Go on and say 'Fuck you!'"

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Yeah! Fuck you!