Wednesday, October 7, 2009

TMI Thursday - My First Period

I got my first period on the twelfth birthday. This sucked in and of itself.

The fact that I got my first period when I was driving two hours to my grandmother's house in Indiana with my father and two younger brothers (and only them because my mother couldn't get off work) made it the most memorable period of my life.

We made a pit stop at the same gas station we always did for gas and poddy breaks. That was when I discovered I had, in fact, entered womanhood. My saving grace was that I at least knew why I had suddenly started to bleed from my who-ha. I also knew that I had to do something about it unless I wanted to ruin the new jeans I just got that morning as well as the back seat of our Ford Taurus all while eliciting screams of "Jeney's got red stuff on her butt!" from my little shit of a brother.

Analyzing the situation, I figured that bizzare toilet paper trick my mom told me about would probably not work -- we still had 45 minutes of driving left. I thought I could buy some of those weird diaper things out of the dispenser in the bathroom... but I had been twelve years old for a total of about four hours at this point, so I didn't have any money that wasn't entrapped in an envelope with some cheesy card and confetti.

It was then that I came to the stark realization that I had to ask my dad for a quarter to get a pad from the magic girl products vending machine. It went something like this:

Me: "Dad, can I have a quarter?"

Dad: "What do you need a quarter for?"

Me: "Can I just have one, please?" ::turn on daddy's little girl charm::

Dad: "I don't think so. You're not going to get anything out of those gumball machines. You're brothers will throw a fit."

Me: "I really, really need a quarter. Um...It's my birthday!"

Dad: "You'll get presents at Grandma's."

Me (giving up the vague approach): "Dad. I'm bleeding."

Dad: "We have band-aids in the car?"

Me: "DAD! I. Am. Bleed. Ing."

Dad: "Well, where are you blee... Oh! Shit!"

Needless to say I got my quarter. Eight of them, in fact. And the most awkward 45 minute drive of my life.

13 comments:

Organic Meatbag said...

And you've been a woman ever since! I don't know what that means...hehehehe...funny stuff!

Carissajaded said...

Haha.. great 1st period story!! And I have to say- as much as that must have sucked.. you should consider yourself lucky. I have never put a quarter in one of those maxi-pad machines when it actually had pads in it! I don't know why they even make them!!

Deva84 said...

I knew I always can count on you to make me laugh! I got my first period when I was 12 too!

bisous Sweetie!

Ed Adams said...

Is this what I have to look forward too?

My daughter's 15 months, but I'm going to start stocking the glove boxes with Tampons and Maxis right now.

Just A Girl said...

That's when you wanna be like "JUST GIMME THE DAMN QUARTER AND NOBODY GETS HURT!"

But you were 12.

Andhari said...

LOL dads can be so cutely clueless sometimes/. Mine was super shocked too cuz I was at home and there were only him and my brothers. And men can't handle these things no matter how old they are :P

LiLu said...

Hahahaha! You and shine are on the same page today!

J said...

That's an interesting period story. I bet your dad even remembers it!

JennyMac said...

haha....your poor DAD!!!!

coors cowgirl 21 said...

aww i feel for your dad that must have been horribly awkward but i literally laughed out loud at my desk at work, great post.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I certainly hope that my little girl will be able to approach the situation with as much aplomb as you have.

I certainly, also, hope that she and I have a good enough relationship that she can trust to approach me with the news and that I won't go acting all typical dad on her.

And, after saying all that, I certainly hope that I remain level headed and don't say or do anything that will cause her to need therapy. Or a blog.

Anonymous said...

ha. i love that. Dads are so clueless.. i like how you had to say it more then once to get him to understand it. :)

LiLu said...

Hahahaha! You and shine are on the same page today!