Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I'm a lot more effed up than I thought...

Like most people, for as long as I can remember, I have had a lot of trouble remembering my dreams. When I was a kid, the only ones that stuck with me when I woke up were nightmares. When I was about 12, my mom got me a dreamcatcher and had it blessed by a family friend who happens to be a High Priestess in a Wiccan coven. All my nightmares and dreams went away.

Until recently.

And let me tell you, if dreams are a wish your heart makes... I need to be committed. This shit's fucked up, yo.

Sometime in October I had a dream that BDubz and I were floating on a couch (Because couches float, duh?) in the middle of a flood in Fargo. We had a fish tank (With fish in it... we like a challenge.) and a Pug with us (Supposedly my subconscious thinks these are two things that we absolutely, positively, without question must save in a flood). We were trying to switch couches, but every time we got into the other couch, it started to sink (Jackass couch).

Then a little while later I had a dream that BDubz and Voice of God were mad at me because we didn't have any spoons in the apartment (But there was like 10,000 knives... how ironic?*). To which I replied that if they didn't use all the spoons to cook, then maybe we would have spoons in the house (Apparently lack of spoons is a sensitive subject in our household...).

Another dream had Voice of God shaved all his dreads off except for a small patch in the front above his forehead. And sang lady Marmalade with three of my athletes at a benefit concert (Makes total sense, right? Right??).

Last night I had a dream that we owned two cats (Which wouldn't be weird if BDubz didn't HATE cats) and my cat turned into a person at night (...Um. Yeah.).

I have no earthly idea why I have started remembering my dreams. I am even more confused and utterly disappointed with the fact that my imagination can't help me out with a dream about laying on a beach in Cabo San Lucas while Adam Lambert feeds me grapes and sings to me and Ryan Reynolds bubs lotion on my back.**

*I know this is backwards from the original lyrics and that it has nothing to do with real irony. Get off my back.
**Of course my imagination would turn this into Adam throwing salami at me while Ryan decides to use his feet instead of his hands.***
***And we'd be in Iraq or Afghanistan in the middle of a war zone.****
****And Jack Bauer would be involved somehow.


Ed Adams said...

The only part of this that bothers me is the Adam Lambert part.

If he ever shows up in my dreams, I'm eating a bullet.

carissajaded said...

Dude I have some effed up dreams too. Scary shiz. Like apocolyptic fires and marrying dragon people and stuff. So I don't think your effed up at all.

GingerMandy said...

mmm adam lambert.

i think he shows up in all my dreams... except he's not gay in them. ohhh no he's not.

texas math said...

So I happened across your blog...only to find out that you dream crazy dreams. Not sure what I got into here.

Blondiesblondemoments said...

I hear you, I have some weird ass dreams, the only thing is sometimes some of them come true years down the road which scares the hell out of me. I think you are pretty normal in my book.

ClaireMontgomeryMD said...

strange but true is the fact that i ALWAYS sing that song backward and say 'all i needed was a fucking spoon dammit' for emphasis. perhaps this dream was about me?

Vic said...

I've been dreaming forever. Some good, some bad....I can't understand why but yes they are wayyyyy weird. I've written about them too....I wonder if our minds are always thinking, reading and writing that we just fall asleep dreaming the weirdest fucking shit ever....I go to sleep thinking about blogging! Enough already. It's fucking with our

Sassy said...

I have always remembered my dreams (not EVERY dream). Sometimes they are stupid funny and sometimes they are just plain scary.

I'm not entirely sure why I am blessed (or cursed depending how you look at it) with remembering my dreams but I think it's pretty cool most of the time.

carissajaded said...

Dude I have some effed up dreams too. Scary shiz. Like apocolyptic fires and marrying dragon people and stuff. So I don't think your effed up at all.