I'm the World's Greatest Cracker!

So LiLu does this thing called "The Shiz my Friends Say" and I must admit - that shit's hysterical.

I didn't really want to steal her thunder or infringe on any copywrites for fear that Axe Murderer will be set after me for revenge... But her's are way funnier than mine and she's prettier and a way better blogger.*

But there are some ridiculous things that make it or simply bypass my friends' internal filters that have to be shared.

After all, these guys are the reason I haven't gone woodchipper on anyone's asses yet.**

***

While watching Iron Chef:

AT: "What the hell is that? A pile of leaves?"

Me: "Also known as a salad..."

***

Referring to some kind of cheese cracker:

Voice of God: “These are the greatest crackers in the world… besides you two.”

***

Voice of God: “What color is your phone?”

Me: “Pink.”

Voice of God: “And AT’s is black?”

Me: “Yep.”

Voice of God: “So hers really is a Blackberry and yours is just a Strawberry?”

***

While bringing Bear home, he kept trying to get in Voice of God’s lap in the front seat:

Me: He must like you.

Voice of God: No he’s just probably excited and thinking “Hey! I’ve never seen one like you before. You guys come in chocolate, too?”

***

Me: Soooo... I had a dream last night that I came to visit you and you had a really hot roommate and a pet elephant.

Vic: I have a really hot roommate who happens to be a stuffed pet elephant. Don’t judge him… he's sensitive.

***

After he threw a boiled peanut at me:

Me: Pick up that peanut!

Voice of God: Ok, come here and I'll pick you up then.

***

Happy Friday!!


* Ass kissing? Never.
**Bonus points to anyone who got that reference.