Monday, February 1, 2010

Letters to My Morning

Dear Alarm Clock,

I admire your persistence. I really do. But for the love of God I have owned you since I was in Junior High. Don't you think it's about time you break?

The sound you make makes me violent,
Jeney Peney

***

Dear Coffee Pot,

I love you more than words can express.

Addicted,
Jeney Peney

***

Dear Contact Lenses,

I would apologize for neglecting to put you in this morning, but in all honesty you're lucky I even considered it for the millisecond I did.

I can't even keep my eyes open to write this,
Jeney Peney

***

Dear Below Freezing Temperatures,

Not cool, yo. I'm really not a fan of walking out in 2 degree weather and thinking, "Oh, it's not bad out. I could have worn a lighter coat."

I'm moving to Arizona,
Jeney Peney

***

Dear Truck in Front of Me with Dual Exhaust,

I understand that emission checks are not required in NoDak, but I really hope you die a slow painful death for exuding such a foul smelling, earth killing exhaust twice as fast and into my general direction.

I still can't breathe,
Jeney Peney

***

Dear Sirius Satellite Radio,

I cannot thank you enough for playing MMMBop on 90's on 9. At least you put a smile on my face before I get into the office.

Don't judge me,
Jeney Peney

***

Dear Mom and Dad,

Thank you for sending me this totally kick ass travel mug that looks like a disposable coffee cup.



I feel that much cooler for drinking out of it,
Jeney Peney

9 comments:

Organic Meatbag said...

Hehehehe, poor girl...you really need to get one of those alarm clocks that plays ocean or rain forest sounds...

Jess said...

The sound of an alarm clock is the worst thing ever!!

The coffee will hopefully make this Monday morning a little easier for you.

Ed Adams said...

MMMMBop?

HAhahahahahahaha!

Heather said...

MMMMMMBop......awesome.

I want your travel mug. Super cool.

Kendall said...

I vaguely remember when Hanson was really popular. Even went to a concert for them because my sister wanted to. I was 9.

I am pretty sure I would throw that mug away by accident (or someone else would) so it's best I never get one. This makes me sad.

Amber Tidd Murphy said...

Dear Jeney,

That coffee mug is awesomespice, and now I am jealous of you.

Love,
Amber

coors cowgirl 21 said...

thank god for coffee and mmmbop at 9am, i hear ya girl

Children of the 90s said...

This pretty much sums up my morning today. If only I'd heard MMMBop on the radio, my day would have gone much more smoothly. I'm sure of it.

coors cowgirl 21 said...

thank god for coffee and mmmbop at 9am, i hear ya girl