Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I'm Just Sayin' - Of Policy and Douche Bags

Working in sales is kind of like being a prostitute. You are selling yourself just as much as you are selling your product. Your client should want to buy you, not just the product. The quality of clients is kind of hit-or-miss -- which I am sure is the same for whores. Sometimes you get clients than leave you smiling and satisfied with the transaction. Other times they leave you with nothing but a couple singles on the dresser and the hotel bill. (Not that I know from experience or anything.)

It is policy here at work that we receive full payment for the rental of the facility within 30 days of your event. Sounds fair enough, right? Simple. Straight forward. Manageable.

Now I'm a pretty nice person (in general) and I try not to be a deposit Nazi. I am usually pretty lenient with this rule. However, after receiving word from a partner this week that a client of mine was currently in litigation with them for not paying rental fees, I took action:

Good Evening [Client],

I am writing to inform you that we still need the last $950 of your deposit
for you events here on Easter weekend.

If we do not receive this money by 12:00pm on Thursday April 9, you will
lose the space and will not receive a refund for the $1000 currently on

You can either send us a check (permitting it arrives here by Thursday) or
fill out the attached credit card authorization form.

Thank you for your cooperation [Client].

Keep in mind that their deposit was actually due on February 25. I did not feel this e-mail was out of line at all. Apparently I was wrong... (Please let me know if I am wrong in this assumption.) This e-mail is VERBATIM:

Jenney, (I love it when they spell my name incorrectly
when it's in my farkin' signature...)

I do not like doing business with institution that operates under threat.
You will definitely receive your money tommorrow but your letter to me is


[Client's Cohort] could you
please send a check to them tommorrow in the amount of $950 since they cannot
wait till Friday.

You signed a contract, douche-face.

I'm just sayin'.


Dani said...

Your client is such a jerk. They are in the wrong...Hello it was due in February. The client is out of line with that email. How unprofessional.

Jen Kucsak said...

Ha, you're right. Never thought of it like that!

Just A Girl said...

That's called "collecting the amount due". That's hugely douchey to respond with that. If they went to the grocery store and the clerk said "You owe $100, if you don't pay that now, you can't take this food," would they call that a threat too?

Wait, probably.

Blondie said...

Your client is an ass. I deal with people like that on a regular basis. Don't pay any attention to them.

Jeney said...

@Dani I completely agree! I just don't understand why people have to be like that...

@Jen My roommates love to see me off to work saying, "Have fun whoring yourself today!"

@Just a Girl God, you make me laugh. They probably would, though :-P

@Blondie Ugh. I wish we could do something about them... bring back public floggings?

Blondie said...

Your client is an ass. I deal with people like that on a regular basis. Don't pay any attention to them.