Vic, Clint, and Trixie

I’m baaa-aack!

And I have absolutely nothing a few things to report on.

First, I have decided to start my own business.

While catching up on the vampire porn that is True Blood this weekend, my roommate Vic, my friend Clint*, and myself were floored by the advertisements for Hung. For those of you who are not blessed enough to have HBO, Hung is a new series about a man who is down on his luck and decides to take advantage of his best “asset” and become a male whore (or “escort” if you want to be classy about it).

This, of course, let to a conversation about solicitation of sexual favors and talents that later veered into negotiations of my own escort service, Madame Trixie’s Escorts. (I mean, what else are we going to talk about while watching hot vamp sex and being teased about a man with a gargantuous penis?)

Currently our running rate is $500 a night. Clint and Vic are open to any role-playing or crazy fantasy – although waivers must be signed if it gets too kinky.

Secondly, I ran my 10k this weekend.

I finished in an hour, which averages out to about a nine-minute mile. I am extremely proud of myself, but in a world of pain. I feel like Vin Diesel railed me all weekend.

Now I can start training for my half-marathon. I am expecting that soreness to equate to being gang-banged by the Chicago Bears defensive line.

Lastly, we bought a pet this weekend.

He is a red Beta. He lives in an empty Patron bottle. His name is Paco. Be jealous.

* Names have been changed to protect those who have dignity left.