Thursday, August 20, 2009

TMI Thursday - Exposing Myself

I meandered across this little doozey on Little Woman, Little Home and thought, “What the hell? It’s not like I have any shame left…” Vic, I am giving you fair warning not to read this. It will taint your image of me more than Beerwell 2008 did.

So here is the fiftieth post of this blog (yay!), my third post for the week (a record maybe?), my second installation of TMI Thursdays (oh boy!), and your first peek into the wild side of Jeney.


The rules: Tell us 3 things about your sex life. You can make them whatever you want and it doesn't necessarily have to pertain to your current partner (or a partner at all for that matter). You can talk about your likes or dislikes, your kinky fetishes or your secret desires. You can tell us a funny story about the time you were having sex in the woods with your old boyfriend and you both ended up with 1,000 tics. Whatever you want... it’s totally up to you!

The Alpha: This one is super gross and one of the more embarrassing moments of my life. Remember the guy in my worst post ever? Well, after a particularly intoxicating St. Patty’s Day, I let him talk me into going home with him like the stupid slut girl I am. Everything that you would expect happened. Nothing worth writing home about... until he walked out of the bathroom afterward. “Umm. I think you’re bleeding.” Of course! Thank you to Murphy's Law and awful karma, my period started in the middle of the whole thing. FML.

Figure 2.0: Ever since I turned nineteen, my birthdays have been absolute shit-shows. This increased exponentially when I was legally able to celebrate at a designated drinking establishment. One such party ended with me and a boy (duh) who would not. shut. up. I’m not kidding – he talked the whole effin’ time. “Oh my God, you’re so beautiful. You are amazing…blah, blah, blah.” As nice as it is to hear bull shit like that, this constant stream of word vomit was waaay too irritating. After telling him to shut his face twice, I just pushed him off, got dressed, and slept on the couch. I just couldn't handle it.

Lucky Number 3: This one isn’t an experience or even really that embarrassing. It’s the one weakness that literally buckles my knees regardless of my mindset, emotional state of mind, or inebriation level: kisses on my neck. Oh sweet Jesus… sends me to pleasure town every time. This, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and Very Sexy for Him by Victoria Secret and you can have me as a sex slave for life.

Thanks for reading!

8 comments:

Organic Meatbag said...

hehehehe...story number 2 is just proof that over-kindness kills... the guy should have just stuck to a couple of "oh yes" and "Please call me Daddy or I'll cry!"s....hahahaha!

LiLu said...

I've been chased out of a boy's bedroom by word vomit too. Don't they know just to shut up and look pretty??

Jeney said...

@Organic & @LiLu Seriously! Keep the conversations to a minimum, please. Just do your job and keep your face shut and everyone will be happy.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

And No. 2 is exactly why I don't talk during sex. Unless it's something like "Did you lock the door?"

Deva84 said...

Girl you're awesome! I son't think I know any other blogger who could write it.

for me the first story rocks! "I think you are bleeding..." hahaha!
it reminds me of my ex friend who picked up a guy in the bar while she had her bad days. I don't know how stupid the guy was that he didn't realized she had period, after... he saw the blood and he looked down and said "he's not THAT big"....

Blondiesblondemoments said...

Yikes, bleeding...that sucks!

Note to self don't talk...ok, got it..lol...I don't blame you no one wants a talker

I love kisses on my neck too.

Funnyn post!

Sebastian said...

I don't think you would be the first girl to be won over by a little neck-kissing...

I'm a fan of going for the collar bone, biting a little, then working my way up the neck, nibbling, then the jaw, then under the ear...

And then tongue in the ear, of course.

Sebastian said...

I don't think you would be the first girl to be won over by a little neck-kissing...

I'm a fan of going for the collar bone, biting a little, then working my way up the neck, nibbling, then the jaw, then under the ear...

And then tongue in the ear, of course.