I don't know if I will make TMI Thursdays a permanent part of my blog (considering it's not an anonymous one and I do some pretty stupid shit I would rather only those who witness it know about) but I had a pretty good one last night so I figured I would share all the bloody, gory details. Sooo..
Lesson #2 – If you do happen to be committing act #1 above against your better judgment, do not do so with a disposable razor you bought at the dollar store.
I, unfortunately, committed both of these acts last night while trying to enjoy my relaxing, hot shower. The end result?
I farkin’ shaved an inch long piece of flesh OFF the base of my ankle. Having a hard time imagining what this would be like? Think of what the first cut of a potato looks like when you peel it. That is what I did to the first few layers of my epidermis with a disposable razor, people! I cannot even begin to explain the kind of pain I was in.
Not only did it sting like all hell, it bled. A lot. You know how a small nick seems to bleed for a good hour or so? I shit you not, this fucker bled all night long. Between my period and this I may have lost enough blood to need a transfusion.
I went through about six or seven tissues before I even attempted to but a band aid on it. Then I bled through three band aids and ruined my bathroom rug before I was forced to MacGyver a gauze-type bandage with more tissue and several more band-aids. When I woke up this morning and took my “bandage” off, I continued to bleed.
My bathroom kind of looks like this. Okay, that's an exaggeration. But it definitely looks like this with little smatters of blood on the tile and bathtub. I would have taken pictures, but a) my camera battery was dead and b) the amount of blood seriously might have convicted me of something. You would think after a decade of shaving my legs I would know better.