TMI Thursday - Shaving my Legs... Off

I don't know if I will make TMI Thursdays a permanent part of my blog (considering it's not an anonymous one and I do some pretty stupid shit I would rather only those who witness it know about) but I had a pretty good one last night so I figured I would share all the bloody, gory details. Sooo..

It’s time for TMI Thursday, brought to you by LiLu. As she always says, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

Lesson # 1 – If you have poor vision, do not (I repeat DO NOT) shave your legs in the shower without proper eyewear.

Lesson #2 – If you do happen to be committing act #1 above against your better judgment, do not do so with a disposable razor you bought at the dollar store.

I, unfortunately, committed both of these acts last night while trying to enjoy my relaxing, hot shower. The end result?

Nicked myself? Nope.

Cut myself? Nuh-uh.

I farkin’ shaved an inch long piece of flesh OFF the base of my ankle. Having a hard time imagining what this would be like? Think of what the first cut of a potato looks like when you peel it. That is what I did to the first few layers of my epidermis with a disposable razor, people! I cannot even begin to explain the kind of pain I was in.

Not only did it sting like all hell, it bled. A lot. You know how a small nick seems to bleed for a good hour or so? I shit you not, this fucker bled all night long. Between my period and this I may have lost enough blood to need a transfusion.

I went through about six or seven tissues before I even attempted to but a band aid on it. Then I bled through three band aids and ruined my bathroom rug before I was forced to MacGyver a gauze-type bandage with more tissue and several more band-aids. When I woke up this morning and took my “bandage” off, I continued to bleed.

My bathroom kind of looks like this. Okay, that's an exaggeration. But it definitely looks like this with little smatters of blood on the tile and bathtub. I would have taken pictures, but a) my camera battery was dead and b) the amount of blood seriously might have convicted me of something. You would think after a decade of shaving my legs I would know better.

I need to change my band-aid now. Happy blogging!